10 Signs of Behavioral Problems in Children and What to Do
What Are Behavioral Problems in Children?
Behavioral problems in children are persistent patterns of behavior that are unusually frequent, severe, or disruptive for a child’s age and developmental level. Examples can include aggression, frequent or intense tantrums, chronic defiance, destructive behavior, lying, stealing, or difficulty following rules.
Occasional misbehavior is a normal part of childhood; behavior becomes a greater concern when it repeatedly interferes with a child’s safety, learning, family life, friendships, or ability to function at home or school. In that case, behavioral problems require pediatric oversight but does not automatically mean that a child has a behavioral or mental health disorder.
What Should Parents Do About Behavioral Problems in Children?
Parents can address behavioral problems by identifying what triggers the behavior, setting clear and age-appropriate expectations, consistently reinforcing positive behavior, and using predictable consequences instead of harsh punishment.
It is also important to look for underlying factors such as difficulty communicating, problems at school, family stress, emotional distress, sleep problems, or developmental differences.
If the behavior is persistent, severe, dangerous, occurs across multiple settings, or significantly interferes with everyday life, parents should discuss it with their child’s pediatrician or a qualified mental health professional to determine whether further evaluation or treatment is appropriate.
Concerned about changes in your child’s behavior or emotional well-being? DFWPMA provides pediatric, therapy, and psychological services for children and adolescents. Schedule an appointment to discuss your concerns and determine what type of support may be appropriate for your child.
Sign #1: Frequent or Severe Temper Tantrums
Frequent or severe temper tantrums can become a behavioral concern when a child repeatedly has emotional outbursts that are unusually intense, difficult to manage, dangerous, or disruptive for their developmental stage. Tantrums are common in young children, particularly while language, frustration tolerance, and self-control are still developing. A tantrum by itself does not indicate a behavioral disorder; the child’s age, triggers, frequency, severity, and behavior during the outburst all matter. American Academy of Pediatrics: Temper Tantrums
How it may appear:
- Having intense screaming or crying episodes after ordinary limits are set.
- Regularly hitting, kicking, biting, or throwing objects during an outburst.
- Having outbursts severe enough to repeatedly interrupt meals, school, outings, or other daily routines.
What parents can do: Look for the pattern before the tantrum instead of focusing only on stopping the outburst once it starts. Keep a brief record of triggers such as fatigue, hunger, transitions, frustration, being asked to stop a preferred activity, or being denied something the child wants. When the behavior is not dangerous, staying calm and avoiding excessive attention to the tantrum can keep the response from unintentionally reinforcing it. If the child begins hitting, biting, throwing objects, or creating another safety risk, intervene immediately. American Academy of Pediatrics: Temper Tantrums
Sign #2: Physical Aggression Toward Other People
Physical aggression becomes a behavioral concern when a child repeatedly hits, kicks, bites, pushes, attacks, or otherwise tries to hurt other people. Young children can occasionally lash out because self-control and communication skills are still developing. Concern increases when aggression persists for weeks, causes injuries, involves attacks on adults, prevents the child from participating in school or play, or makes caregivers fear for someone’s safety. American Academy of Pediatrics: Aggressive Behavior in Young Children
How it may appear:
- Frequently hitting or kicking siblings when frustrated.
- Biting, pushing, or attacking other children during play.
- Becoming physically aggressive toward parents, teachers, or other adults when limits are set.
What parents can do: Make safety the immediate priority: stop the physical behavior, separate children involved in a fight when necessary, and state the limit briefly and calmly. After the child is calm, teach and practice a specific alternative such as asking for help, using words to express anger, or leaving the situation. Praise the child when they handle frustration without aggression. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends teaching alternative behavior rather than relying on threats and emphasizes reinforcing kind, gentle, and nonaggressive behavior when it occurs.
Sign #3: Persistent Defiance or Refusal to Follow Rules
Persistent defiance becomes a behavioral concern when refusing reasonable, age-appropriate directions or resisting authority develops into a recurring pattern that causes substantial conflict at home, school, or both. Most children sometimes challenge rules as they develop independence. Defiance deserves closer attention when it is long-standing, occurs across important relationships or settings, continues despite consistent efforts to address it, or occurs with aggression, destructiveness, or significant emotional distress. American Academy of Pediatrics: The Disobedient Child
How it may appear:
- Regularly refusing ordinary household expectations despite understanding what is being asked.
- Frequently arguing with teachers, parents, or other authority figures about established rules.
- Turning routine requests such as getting ready, doing schoolwork, or ending screen time into prolonged conflicts.
What parents can do: Before treating repeated disobedience as willful misconduct, examine what may be contributing to it. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that chronic disobedience can be related to unrealistic parental expectations, a child’s temperament, school problems, family stress, or conflict between parents. Make expectations specific and achievable, choose a small number of important rules to enforce consistently, and notice whether defiance clusters around particular demands or stressful situations. That information is more useful than simply labeling a child “defiant.”
Sign #4: Frequent Destructive Behavior
Frequent destructive behavior becomes concerning when a child repeatedly damages belongings or property, particularly when the destruction is intentional, aggressive, dangerous, or substantially beyond what would be expected for the child’s age. Accidentally breaking something, damaging an object through immature play, or throwing something during one isolated angry episode does not establish a behavioral disorder. A recurring pattern of destruction combined with aggression, serious defiance, stealing, or other rule violations deserves closer evaluation. American Academy of Pediatrics: Disruptive Behavior Disorders
How it may appear:
- Repeatedly breaking household objects during angry episodes.
- Intentionally damaging a sibling’s or classmate’s belongings during conflicts.
- Destroying property severely or frequently enough to create safety, school, family, or financial consequences.
What parents can do: Separate the immediate response from the investigation of why the behavior happened. First make the environment safe and calmly enforce a consequence connected to the destructive behavior. Later, examine what preceded the episode and teach an acceptable response to the same trigger. Avoid spanking, hitting, humiliation, or screaming as an attempt to control destructive behavior. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends discipline that teaches behavior through clear limits, predictable consequences, attention to appropriate behavior, and redirection rather than harsh physical or verbal punishment.
Sign #5: Chronic Lying or Deceptive Behavior
Chronic lying can become a behavioral concern when a child who can distinguish truth from fantasy repeatedly and deliberately gives false information and the pattern damages trust, relationships, school functioning, or family life. Developmental context is essential: children younger than about age 6 may still have difficulty consistently distinguishing reality from fantasy, so an untrue statement from a young child should not automatically be interpreted as deliberate deception. American Academy of Pediatrics: When Children Lie
How it may appear:
- Repeatedly denying actions the child knows they committed in order to avoid consequences.
- Frequently inventing stories about schoolwork, rules, or other behavior to prevent adults from discovering what happened.
- Lying often enough that parents, teachers, or peers have substantial difficulty trusting what the child says.
What parents can do: Ask why telling the truth may feel difficult rather than assuming that harsher punishment will produce more honesty. The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that children may lie because they fear disappointing their parents or anticipate punishment and notes that harsh punishment is usually ineffective. Tell your child that you know the statement is untrue, explain why honesty matters, make truthful disclosure less costly than continuing the deception, and model the same honesty you expect from your child.
Sign #6: Repeated Stealing
Repeated stealing can become a behavioral concern when a child knowingly takes money, belongings, or other items that do not belong to them and the behavior continues despite clear rules and consequences. A single incident does not establish a behavioral disorder. Age and development also matter because younger children may not fully understand ownership. Concern increases when stealing becomes recurrent, involves planning or deception, causes significant problems at home or school, or occurs alongside aggression, chronic lying, destruction of property, truancy, or other serious rule violations. American Academy of Pediatrics: Disruptive Behavior Disorders
How it may appear:
- Repeatedly taking money from parents, siblings, classmates, or other people without permission.
- Taking toys, electronics, clothing, school supplies, or other belongings and hiding or denying having taken them.
- Continuing to steal despite previous conversations, consequences, or attempts by parents and teachers to stop the behavior.
What parents can do: Respond to stealing directly without defining the child by the behavior. Require stolen property to be returned or replaced when possible, establish a consequence connected to the behavior, and reinforce the expectation that belongings must be obtained with permission. Look for patterns around the stealing, including whether the child is trying to obtain something they cannot otherwise access, impress peers, avoid admitting another behavior, retaliate against someone, or repeatedly break rules in several areas of life. The American Academy of Pediatrics identifies stealing as one of the behaviors that can warrant greater concern when it becomes part of a significant behavioral problem.
Sign #7: Bullying or Repeatedly Hurting Other Children
Bullying becomes a behavioral concern when a child repeatedly uses physical aggression, threats, insults, humiliation, exclusion, or another form of aggression against another child, particularly when there is a real or perceived difference in power. This is different from an isolated disagreement or ordinary conflict between children. Bullying can be physical, verbal, social, or online and should be addressed when a child repeatedly participates in behavior intended to hurt, intimidate, embarrass, or isolate another person. American Academy of Pediatrics: Why Bullying Hurts All Children—and What Parents Can Do About It
How it may appear:
- Repeatedly hitting, pushing, threatening, intimidating, or deliberately frightening another child.
- Frequently insulting, humiliating, teasing, or spreading rumors about a particular child.
- Using texts, social media, group chats, games, photos, videos, or other digital platforms to embarrass, threaten, exclude, or harass another child.
What parents can do: Address bullying immediately rather than dismissing it as ordinary childhood conflict. Clearly explain which behavior must stop and why, establish firm and consistent limits, and use nonphysical discipline rather than aggression or humiliation. Ask what happened before the behavior and whether peer conflict, a desire for social status, exposure to violence, emotional distress, trauma, or another problem may be contributing. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends teaching respect and empathy, monitoring whether the behavior continues, and praising children when they demonstrate kindness and appropriate ways of interacting with others.
Sign #8: Repeated School Refusal or Truancy
Repeated school refusal or truancy becomes concerning when a child regularly refuses, avoids, or misses school and the absences begin interfering with education or everyday functioning. The reason matters. A child may avoid school because of anxiety, bullying, academic difficulties, problems with peers, fear of failure, family stress, a medical condition, or a broader pattern of rule-breaking. Because very different problems can produce the same outward behavior, repeated school absence should not automatically be treated as simple disobedience. American Academy of Pediatrics: School Attendance, Truancy & Chronic Absenteeism
How it may appear:
- Regularly refusing to get ready for school or repeatedly attempting to stay home without a medical reason.
- Skipping classes or entire school days without parental permission.
- Developing a pattern of unexplained absences that begins affecting grades, school participation, friendships, or academic progress.
What parents can do: Determine why the child is missing school before deciding how to respond. Ask specifically about bullying, friendships, teachers, academic work, anxiety, physical symptoms, sleep, and events occurring at home or school. Contact the child's teacher, school counselor, nurse, or other appropriate school staff to compare what is happening at home with what is happening at school. If the child repeatedly reports headaches, stomachaches, nausea, dizziness, or other symptoms on school days, have those symptoms medically evaluated rather than assuming the child is pretending. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends involving the child's doctor when school avoidance persists or physical or emotional symptoms interfere with functioning.
Sign #9: Serious or Repeated Rule-Breaking
Serious or repeated rule-breaking becomes a behavioral concern when a child or adolescent persistently violates important family, school, or community rules and the behavior creates substantial safety, academic, legal, or relationship problems. This is different from occasionally breaking curfew, ignoring a household rule, or testing limits. Greater concern is warranted when rule violations become frequent or severe or occur alongside aggression, stealing, chronic deception, destruction of property, truancy, or other disruptive behaviors. American Academy of Pediatrics: Disruptive Behavior Disorders
How it may appear:
- Repeatedly leaving home, school, or another supervised setting without permission and disregarding established safety rules.
- Regularly violating major household or school rules despite understanding the expectations and consequences.
- Developing a broader pattern in which lying, stealing, aggression, property destruction, truancy, or other serious violations occur together.
What parents can do: Identify exactly which rules are being broken, when the behavior occurs, who is present, and what happens immediately before and after it. Prioritize rules involving safety and establish consequences that are specific, predictable, and realistically enforceable rather than creating an increasingly long list of punishments. Parents should also determine whether the behavior is occurring only at home or across school, peer, and community settings. If the behavior involves leaving home or another safe setting, address the immediate safety risk rather than treating it only as disobedience.
Sign #10: Behavior Problems That Repeatedly Disrupt School, Family Life, or Friendships
Behavior becomes a significant concern when it repeatedly interferes with a child's ability to function at home, participate in school, maintain friendships, or safely take part in everyday activities. The impact of the behavior can be as important as the behavior itself. A child who occasionally argues, becomes angry, breaks a rule, or struggles with classmates may be showing normal developmental behavior. A persistent pattern that causes school failure, repeated disciplinary action, severe family conflict, loss of friendships, exclusion from activities, or safety problems deserves closer attention. American Academy of Pediatrics: Normal Child Behavior
How it may appear:
- Behavior problems repeatedly result in calls from school, removal from class, disciplinary action, or an inability to complete ordinary classroom activities.
- Conflict, aggression, defiance, or emotional outbursts become frequent enough to dominate family routines or prevent ordinary activities at home.
- The child's behavior repeatedly damages friendships, prevents participation in activities, or causes other children or adults to avoid interacting with them.
What parents can do: Look at functioning across settings instead of judging the child based on one incident. Ask teachers and other caregivers what they observe, document when and where problems occur, and compare situations in which the child struggles with situations in which they function well. Patterns can help identify whether difficulties are connected to particular demands, environments, relationships, times of day, academic tasks, sleep problems, emotional distress, or other triggers. If problems are persistent across several areas of life, bring that information to the child's pediatrician rather than waiting for one specific behavior to become severe.
DFW Physicians Medical Associates Can Help with Behavioral Problems in Children
DFWPMA takes an integrated approach to children’s behavioral and developmental health. Pediatric care includes behavioral and developmental health and developmental screenings, while DFWPMA’s mental health services include therapy and psychological assessment for behavioral, emotional, cognitive, and developmental concerns.
Depending on a child’s needs, DFWPMA services can include psychological assessment, individual therapy, behavioral intervention, parent training, and support for children experiencing behavioral or emotional regulation difficulties. Because DFWPMA combines pediatrics, psychology, therapy, and psychiatry within its broader multispecialty model, providers can coordinate care when a child’s needs involve more than one area of health.